I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
