So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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