So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
