Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
