You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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