this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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