YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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