i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I'm sobbing to NWA
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
