I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
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