I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
