last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
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