Bisexual people are plain selfish.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
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