i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize