Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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