i don't like sucking hair
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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