with your own penis?
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
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