I wish i was in the wii world.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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