I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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