I am full of burrito and curiosity
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
