And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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