So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
