T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
You ate ashes out of my bong
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
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