but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
