He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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