my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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