Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
