Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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