i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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