I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize