oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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