i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Randomize
