the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
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