Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
