I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
