I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
