I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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