I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
