i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
