all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
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