Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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