I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I just want to make out with him forever
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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