im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
