Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
