TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
