Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
