Do vagina's smell?
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize