Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
