It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Randomize
