I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize