The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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