Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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