mondays should just be called national damage control day
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
