We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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