Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize