No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
me + whiskey = a bad person
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
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