I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
