these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
