Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
