garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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