then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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