Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I'm at about main and main street
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
