he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
