So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize