Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize