I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize