Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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