No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize