Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I looked at my own cervix.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
